apparently you can’t be employed by the CIA if you’ve ever illegally downloaded music
breaking news: in 20 years, the CIA will operate out of the president’s basement, staffed by four old men and six guinea pigs
At twilight on August the 25th 1999, one week before classes were to begin, Hermione Granger Apparated into Hogsmeade, a wand box clutched under her arm.
Headmistress McGonagall was waiting for her outside the Three Broomsticks. The two women greeted each other warmly, and then set off towards the castle. Or rather, towards the grounds outside the castle.
They chatted amiably as they strolled towards the groundskeeper’s hut. Hagrid, sitting outside and darning a pair of enormous socks, looked up as they approached.
“Good evenin’ Headmistress, Hermione,” he said with some gruff surprise.
“Good evening, Hagrid,” replied McGonagall. “May we go inside? I believe Hermione has a proposition to discuss with you.”
If you had stood outside the hut as the evening darkened and the stars rose into the sky, you’d have heard the rumblings of an argument coming from inside the hut. You’d have heard Hagrid’s gruff refusals, Hermione’s calm (and then not so calm) rebuttals, and the very occasional interjection of the Headmistress.
Hermione did not emerge until the moon had fully risen and darkness enveloped the grounds. But in the light of the nearly full moon, you could see a smile on her face.
The Shrieking Shack was no longer widely believed to be haunted, now that the story of Remus Lupin was fully known. Still, the residents of Hogsmeade and Hogwarts avoided it out of a mixture of respect and residual fear.
This suited Hermione perfectly. The interior of the Shack was now stacked with books and bottles of potion ingredients. A cauldron sat in the corner, a telescope pointed out a cracked window, and cushions lined one wall. A table was covered in parchment, broken quills, ink pots and stains. Once a week, Hermione would apparate into the Shack and go over her notes from the previous session while she awaited her student’s arrival.
Sometimes he was late without explanation. Sometimes he would bring a wounded bowtruckle he wasn’t comfortable leaving on its own. Sometimes Fang would follow him and sit in the corner whining while his master sweated and cursed over a cauldron. Hermione was calm but firm, making adjustments as needed and letting Hagrid’s frustrated words roll off her back like water droplets.
The Hogsmeade residents may have turned a blind eye to the goings-on in the Shrieking Shack, but that didn’t mean they weren’t relieved as time went on and there were fewer and fewer roars of anger echoing through the village.
The OWL testers had been warned in advance that they would have an unusual student that year. That didn’t mean they weren’t taken aback when Rubeus Hagrid appeared on their testing scrolls. They all knew of him of course, knew the role he played in the Second War and of the false accusations leveled against him.
They were worried they would have to be kind.
They needn’t have. No one could have Hermione Granger teach them personally for a year and not improve in all aspects. His potions may not have been textbook perfection, he may not have fully transfigured his toad, but Hagrid had clearly worked hard to master his long dormant abilities.
Rubeus Hagrid may not have followed the traditional path to wisdom. But he had a new wand, the (sometimes grudging) respect of his peers, classes to teach and 6 OWLs.
Including the highest score ever recorded on Care of Magical Creatures.
(written and submitted by ppyajunebug; please excuse me, because I have something in my eye. Oh yes, it is my joyful tears. ppyajunebug has a way of bringing those out of me, you see. Their submissions tackle some of the saddest moments in canon, turning them around and making something beautiful out of them.)
THIS MADE ME CRY.
GREATEST TEEN WOLF GIF SET EVER
Yeah, I think we’re done with the internet for today.
*falls to knees in awe*
fuck this shit
it is entirely inconsistent with elizabeth’s character for her to drop everything (PIRATE KING thank you very much) to raise a child as a landlubber
give me elizabeth, eight months pregnant, still running the show from shipwreck cove
give me elizabeth and her six-year-old
soncabin boy kicking ass and taking names as they outrun the royal navy
give me elizabeth, instead of waiting for will, sailing out to meet him
give me elizabeth dying at sea four years and one week later and signing aboard the flying dutchman to the shock of its captain
give me elizabeth and will co-captaining the dutchman and sailing the seas beyond the edge of the world for eternity together
give me young billy (i’m forced to assume they, as pirates, are unimaginative when it comes to names) telling the story of william turner, who gave up everything for the woman he loved, and elizabeth swann, who took it back with sword and pistol
something always bothered me about that ending and now I know what it was god bless
so when i was younger i thought brock was blind cuz his eyes were drawn as lines (whereas EVERYONE ELSE had regular anime eyes) and I thought he just assumed every woman around him was beautiful.
Source: NPR: Hollywood Needs More Women
Seriously, go listen to this.
when i was in 7th grade, i had a science teacher who would give really easy tests. i would finish them in 10 minutes, then spend the rest of the period drawing ninjas all over the paper. i always told him to circle all 200 in red pen, and he did. one day, i decided to fuck him over by only drawing 199. when i got the test back, he’d written “you devil-spawn” on the top.
I made this a while ago and I don’t know when I’d ever use it so I’m just gonna post it whatever man
fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects
trying to go on tumblr at school.